personal crisis

It feels like it has been so long since I have been on here. Oh man why does time fly when you are having fun but it seems to stop when you are going though one of the hardest times ever? Over the last couple of weeks I have been so stressed out about an incident that I wish I could take back. I won't go into details because it is far to complicated. I only wish that someone could just sit me down and talk some sense back into my head. I am so sick and tired of everyone telling me that everything will be ok and that it will all sort it self out when I don't feel like anything will ever be the same again. If people care for me at all then why can they not be blunt and just tell me that yes I screwed up and things will be different. Why do they always feel the need to sugar coat everything? I feel like I am disoriented from myself, it's almost like I just put on a happy face everyday just to avoid answering questions that I am trying so hard to run away from the answer that I think will find me at the other side of the door. I feel like it is easier to take five steps back rather than one step forward at times. I don't like feeling this way but after everything that I have been through in just this issue alone, I don't know what else I can do. I almost feel like it would be easier if I just take myself out of the picture and let the chips falls as far away from me as possible. I learned a long time ago that if you don't fall in love then you can't get hurt, but what if you have already been hurt? Can a broken heart really break again? The answer to this is of course it does so of course it will.