Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Mixed emotions ranging from ok to crumpled mess on the floor

So I just found out today that in order for me to graduate in May, as I have been planning for the last 3 years I must change my major from Psychology to interdisciplinary studies. This means that my degree will be a mix of psychology, sociology and religion. In a way I am relieved that I will be able to graduate this May as planned, but in another way I feel as if I am taking the easy route out. My Mom has been talking to me and she said things that made a lot of sense. Since my only other option to remain in the psych major is staying an additional 3 semesters, this is the smart and best choice for me. However I still feel like a slacker or an idiot, or both. I am sure given time things will change. But since the purpose of a blog is to record what is going on in your life, I can't find myself to leave this out. I hope that all will work it self out, I have been promised that I will excel in my area of study and if my Heavenly Father has promised me that, then this must be the path that I was always meant to take. Until next time . . . keep it real!

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Spring has sprung . . .

Well the new year is upon us so with a full breath of air I say Happy 2010 to everyone! I do hope that everyone's new years resolution are a success. So with the beginning of a new year I am reminded of the current status of my life. I am getting ready to graduate from college in just 4 short months. Finally. It seems like my life has taken several detours to get to this moment. I am very excited for graduation and I am ready to take my next steps into the world. I only hope that after graduation is over I can find myself a good job and eventually into a good graduate school.
Another current spot I find myself in is living a life with no "significant other" to share my triumphs (and trials) with. As I attend the single's ward and see friends and previous roommates find love and eternal companions, most of the time I can't help but think "I'm just not enough." I hate feeling this way because I know that it is a lie. Yes it is hard to be alone when I so dearly want someone to be with me, but I realized that I am enough to the right person. It really brings into perspective that quote "to the world you might just be one person, but to one person you might just be the world."
This realization came about after having a conversation with a dear friend of mine concerning her own lack of relationship and she said "you know, I realized a long time ago that I will not be with anyone who does not look at me like I am his everything. Because the man I end up marrying will be my everything." It was like a slap in the face but a much needed wake up call. I can't expect everything to go the way I want it to. That is not how the world works. One day my time will come, I just have to be patient.
School is starting tomorrow and it is my last semester in my undergraduate work, whew. I will be really busy that is for sure. I work two jobs, I have an externship with a forensic phychologist and I am trying to balance 19 credits. Yikes. But I have confidence in myself, I view myself as a good student. I have great friends and a loving and supportive family that I always know I can turn to.
I wanted to leave today by posting my new years resolutions so I can see them, and others who read this can see them and encourage me to get the done (so no pressure, but if I fail it is 50% your fault):

1. Take my medications religiously
2. Post at least two new blogs a month
3. Take time out my schedule to relax and enjoy time with friends
4. Get kick-a** grades this semester
5. Go to church more regularly

Wish me luck, because I am going to need it! Until next time . . . keep it real!