Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Time is running out . . .


So today I realized that I have 29 days (including the weekends) left in this semester. Whew I never thought it would come. I am really pressing myself this semester so cross your fingers that I can get through the next few weeks without going crazy or having a nervous breakdown. I find myself having to live second by second just to get through each day and it is exhausting! As I have a project due tomorrow (thank goodness it is almost done), I am preparing myself for a test I had forgotton about ( it is on thursday so keep me in your prayers), I also have a paper due this thursday. I have another test next tuesday, a paper due next thursday, and a huge 10 to 15 page paper that is due on April 27th that is taking place of a final exam ( no pressure . . . HA!) It is normal for me to feel overwhelmed near the end of the semseter but this year is particually bad. On top of everything else I am starting to freak out because I am starting my senior year in August and I have not done any kind of research or anything that will help with grad school preparation. YIKES! Wish me the best of luck and pray that I live to see another school year! Until next time . . . keep it real!

Monday, January 26, 2009

Good impressions and Great memories

In order to understand the first part of the title you have to have a little background information. At work I have a lot of regular customers, one of them is a man by the name of Ron Houston. I recently discovered that Ron is a psychologist, so one day I asked him what his emphasis was. He told me that he started out as Infant and Early Childhood development (what I am going into) and now he works as a forensic psychologist (something I think is way cool). I told him that I was a Psych major going into Infant and Early Childhood and he thought that was cool. He asked me if I was planning on going to Graduate school (which I am still considering) and he then told me that if I ever wanted to sit down and kind of learn the ropes, that he would be more than happy to help. He then told me that one day he overheard me talking to another regular customer about different psychology ideas, concepts and applications of those concepts and he told me that he was very impressed and said that I really know my stuff. So needless to say that made me really really happy and also made me feel really smart.
The second part of the title requires a longer bit of background information but I will keep in short. So the moral of the story is I can't eat skittles. So what is the story you may ask? My junior year of high school for a group date ( there was like 10 of us) we played the skittle game. For those of you who don't know what this is; it is when you pass a big bowl of skittles above your head and take out two at a time. If they are the same color you are allowed to chew them, if they are not then you must hold them in your mouth. No chewing, No swallowing. So we played this game for almost 3 hours. You know that sticky feeling in your cheeks when you have had way to much sugar? Well we were all dealing with that. So we were eating chunks of cheese and bits of meat to get that taste out of our mouth. 1 year later, still not able to eat skittles. To this day I can not think about skittles without that taste returning. 2 years after that I am driving beet truck waiting in line at the dump. I am eating some lunch when I see one of those fun packs of skittles. I thought well it has been three years I can eat those. I put it in my mouth and all was well . . . and then I bit down. I was gagging and spitting that thing out like it was poison!
How does this relate to today? Well long story short some of my roommates bought skittles and they found out this humaliting little story. They wanted to see what would happen if I ate one of these devil candies. They told me they would give me a pack of pepsi if I ate it. Easier said then done. It took me half an hour to get it in my mouth. I got it in and could not bite down, but that was part of the deal. I finally bit down and I lost it. After I swallowed, I went over to the sink and started to swish out the taste. All the while my friends are laughing uncontrollably at me. Good times, I could feel the redness in my cheeks forever! I was kinda angry at all involved in the blackmailing, so they all payed off their debts to become my friend again. Josh put the icing on the cake with a fake proposal to Sarah with a "ring pop". Yes we got it on tape. I love making memories like this, it makes life so much fun. Until next time . . . keep it real!

Saturday, January 3, 2009

New year, new start

Happy New Year one and all! I hope that this year we are each able to accomplish our new year's resolutions. School is starting on Monday and I have to admit I am kind of excited for it. It is a great chance to start again and shoot for one more chance of improving. For all of you who are curious, yes I am doing much better. I just kind of hit a low point and I am so glad that I have such a supportive family and so many wonderful friends that I could turn to. My special graditude goes out to my Aunti Kathi who really pointed out somethings that I just needed to year. I love you Aunti! It has been a fantastic holiday break filled with some pretty fun memories that I would not trade for the world. I hope that you all never doubt yourself because trust me it is not worth the struggle that you go through. Thank you all so much for all that you have done and continue to do for me. Until next time, keep it real!

Sunday, November 30, 2008

personal crisis

It feels like it has been so long since I have been on here. Oh man why does time fly when you are having fun but it seems to stop when you are going though one of the hardest times ever? Over the last couple of weeks I have been so stressed out about an incident that I wish I could take back. I won't go into details because it is far to complicated. I only wish that someone could just sit me down and talk some sense back into my head. I am so sick and tired of everyone telling me that everything will be ok and that it will all sort it self out when I don't feel like anything will ever be the same again. If people care for me at all then why can they not be blunt and just tell me that yes I screwed up and things will be different. Why do they always feel the need to sugar coat everything? I feel like I am disoriented from myself, it's almost like I just put on a happy face everyday just to avoid answering questions that I am trying so hard to run away from the answer that I think will find me at the other side of the door. I feel like it is easier to take five steps back rather than one step forward at times. I don't like feeling this way but after everything that I have been through in just this issue alone, I don't know what else I can do. I almost feel like it would be easier if I just take myself out of the picture and let the chips falls as far away from me as possible. I learned a long time ago that if you don't fall in love then you can't get hurt, but what if you have already been hurt? Can a broken heart really break again? The answer to this is of course it does so of course it will.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

RSC Pilgrimage 2008

So yesterday (11/15) I went on the second annual Religious Studies Club Pilgrimage. We first went to an FLDS meeting house in Eagle Mountain. I thought it was really interesting. They talked about how they still accepted the LDS faith as a religion and how they even considered it to be the Mother Religion. They talked about common misconceptions such as they don't believe in any kind of abuse or arranged marriages or incest. They also talked about how life was like growing up in the FLDS religion. I thought it was interesting that they did not fit the preconceived notion of that which we define polygomy. They were very open about everything and they both had the most wonderful sense of humor. When asked about the sleeping arrangements between wives Nathan ( the man we talked to) said with a serious face . . .
"I really big hamock" There are somethings that I still don't agree with about what they said but over all I really enjoyed it. The next stop was at the Buddist Temple in Salt Lake. When we walked in the first thing that you noticed was the incense. He talked about the symbols of the alters, the most interesting one was the budda for wisdom. He said that since the face is hidden, you must bow to see it. This is because it reminds us that we can not walk arrogent with pride we must also be able to bow down with humility. I really enjoyed going this year and opening my eyes to a whole new experience.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Thanksgiving Graditute

There are times in my life that I am most greatful for friends when I am so far away from home. I love the church and the systems that it provides. Today for example I was very sick. I was greatful for the fact that I have friends that are worthy priesthood holders. It is such a comfort to know that no matter what happens in life, we will always be taken care of. Being at this school makes me realize that friends and roommates become your family. You bond so fast with them that at the end of the year it is hard to leave them. I am so greatful for all of the positive influences in my life that encourage me to stay on track when all else seems lost. This includes family as well. I am so glad that my family is supportive of me in any of my decisions and they are more than happy to help out when I need it.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Why not live in the now?

Wow, so much has happened that it is difficult to know where to start. The semester is winding down so I am starting to get into the crunch mode. The one thing that I have really noticed lately is how much I have been focused on the future and forgeting about right now. The present is here and I have been walking through it blindly. Life is to be lived and not planned to a t, but it is so hard to get out of that groove of life. One of my new goals is to quit worring so much about things that happened in the past and not to map out the future. I just want to be in the now and grab every moment. So much of what I see in today's world makes me really think, shouldn't that be the other way around? I am not really looking for an answer, I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So, goodnight dear void.